Friday, May 24, 2013

Now This Is A Story...

All about how...No, no, I'm not rapping. That is not happening. Why? Because its too early and I'd never have anyone visit my blog ever again...like ever. Now, on to more important manners! Did yah miss me? Who are we kidding of course you did!!! Why? Because the sunshine that is me is quite pleasant no? Yes! I owe you people an explanation as to what it is you're currently witnessing to the left of your lovely screen. Shara made me do it! No, seriously, the woman's a menace! She harasses, she bribes, she threatens to MDK the whole east coast--eventually, you count your losses and just give in, too afraid to pull out of the garage in the morning. Seriously...she frightens me. Have you ever seen a fox stalk a hare? People, I'm the hare. Unfortunately she'll simply give an innocent blink and pretend as though she doesn't rule with a steel spike on her boots and leather in her whip. You're gonna tell her I said that aren't you? Traitor! And now that my ADHD has run it's course, I'd like to tell you a bit about the lovely Luciano "The Philly Brawler" Antonelli and his lady love Samara Blackwell--who BTW has a nickname too but it really is early and I really am too scrambled to remember it. These two were a emotional roller coaster of laughs and tearful moments; tearful because sometimes I can be made into a beeyotch by my own story lines. And the insanity that seemed to latch itself onto their tumultuous, confusing, physics defying relationship by way of friends and family really did make me chuckle at the oddest times. All in all, I used the right word when I called this a roller coaster ride. Why? because no matter how many times you scream, you throw your hands up, you have a near death experience. You want to get back on again, and again, and again... 
     Wanna read it do you? Of course you do! Calm yourself. All you have to do is click the cover to get to the buy link! But it doesn't stop there! Here's a wonderful excerpt to get your juices...er flowing? Was that the word I was looking for here? (shrug) Guess so. Hehehe...juices...

Excerpt: 


        Heavy brows drew downward as his amber eyes gazed at her unflinchingly, and the moment they slid from her face down to her torso, her stomach dropped. He knew. He knew because he’d heard and he was...
        She couldn’t read his expression, didn’t know exactly what he thought, but when he returned those oh, so familiar irises to her own something ignited inside like her body recognized exactly who was standing in front of it. Samara swallowed to retain moisture in her mouth, the shouting match between Nyssa and Sansone turning into something muffled, sounding almost like the teachers on Charlie Brown.
      “Yo!” Luciano suddenly snapped, causing her to jump as he pointed toward their siblings. “You two shut it.” He looked back to her. “You. Bedroom. Now.” Stepping past her, he strode toward the back as if he owned every square foot not only of her condo but her.
        Samara stood there, watching his powerful steps, staring at the way his shoulders rolled with every step.
       “Now, Sammie,” he demanded again without turning around, his voice casual.
       Chewing her lip, she followed. When she reached her room, he was leaning against the wall near the door, something small in his hand. She sucked in a huge breath when she realized it was the ultrasound picture. Samara had set it out so she could frame it later.
       The door closed with a soft click behind her. His doing. She would’ve kept it open, too terrified to stay anywhere alone with him not knowing what it was he was about to say or how he’d heard about the accidental announcement so fast. Not only that, but how exactly had he managed to drop everything and come all the way to Manhattan? Why had he dropped everything to come all the way up to Manhattan?
     Was he here to tell her to her face that he didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby? Maybe he was. Maybe he resented her. Maybe he’d never had plans for a child. Maybe he’d walk out and never speak to her again. Did it make her weak that she didn’t think she’d be able to handle any of those scenarios? Was she stupid because all she really wanted was to hear him say he’d be here, that he was happy despite the unusual circumstances? Maybe. Or maybe she was human and a little vulnerable and simply wanted him not to regret the one night they’d had, because she’d never regretted it, and she never would. How could she? It had been one of the best times in her life. Point. Blank.
       Samara lifted her chin and folded her arms across her chest, determined to live with whatever was about to leave his mouth. If she had to, she’d do it alone. It would be hard, that much she knew, and she’d probably cry and have to keep Nyssa from nuking all of Philly in a homicidal rage, but so be it.
      Luciano straightened and walked toward her, eyes still on that ultrasound. When he finally lifted them, there was an inexplicable emotion in his gaze that took her breath away. Then his lips curved until they spread into a full-blown smile right before he was laughing. “When I asked if you wanted an Antonelli inside you this isn’t exactly what I meant, but I do believe it’ll do me just as much good.”
     That was when Samara burst into tears.




Sunday, December 23, 2012

I'm Kissing AND Telling...MUAHAHAHA

Oh dear lord, how long has it been since I actually used this goddamn thing? Oh wait, not that long. Just few days ago. Hmmm, who tricked me into blogging?! Oh yes it was Janet, otherwise known as the Carebear of Debauchery. Yes that is her official title. No, she has no problem with it. Yes, she wears it with pride. (rubbing temples) Okay what was my point here?

(snaps fingers) Feck...I thought I had it and...ah there it goes! I've been writing! (jazz hands) Not impressed? Yeah, me either. Its kind of my job and everything you know? Blah, blah, blah. To produce interesting hilarious shizz for the masses and watch them enjoy the hotness and joy that I bring when I allow my fingertips to tickle the ivor--er--keyboard. So here I am again, my muse in full play and bringing me some of my best work yet.
Grand isn't it? I think so. (rubbing hands together) My recent project? Oh just an extremely gorgeous, alpha, cranky Samoan fireman with lots of cocky. See what I did there? (eyebrow waggle) Oh c'mon! That was gold people! GOLD!!! (sigh) Whatevs. Said fireman was one of my most beloved of characters from my newest work "Kiss and Tell." Why you ask? Because he's insane! Insanity and I blend well. Very well. Should I be admitting that? No, no, probably not. I don't want to be committed...they tried...once. Stop judging me!
Okay, the thing is I'm taking a page out of the book of the great Billy London, mainly because she's awesome at what she does as are many of the writers I know but Billy has the special brand of zaney humor that leaves me wide eyed and highly amused. Kind of like when I set flame to something. Yeah, once again, that's probably something I shouldn't admit. Anyways! Billy did something I found amazing. She interviewed one of her male leads and it was, needless to say, hilarious as shit. After I read it, Maikao Iona--my fireman--started bugging me to give him a chance to speak publicly about the tribulations of being in love with your bestfriend. Now mind you, his story is finished and in the process of edits therefore this interview will give you a quick glimpse of my favorite man thus far.
Ah, yes, before I introduce you to him I'd like you to direct your attention to this link here just for a moment--http://sobillysaysshesays.blogspot.com/2011/11/interview-with-zombie.html--because when I was younger my mother used to recite this verse from the bible that basically said "Give honor where honor is due." Or was that out of a self help novel? Maybe a cookbook? (shrug) I dunno. I said stop judging me! Once again, back to the point that I keep losing. That link up top (gestures to it) Is what will take you to Billy's blog and her interview with Novak the Zombie for your viewing pleasure. No, no, don't click it yet! Wait until I'm done holding your attention with adorable anecdotes. And here we go:

NW: This is how this interview is going to go Mak. You will answer what I ask you, in a manner that is respectful and attractive. At no point shall my panties be mentioned in this.
MI: But--
NW: What did I say? Want me to write you in a short where Addison gets the urge to fulfill those long time threats of kicking you in the--
MI: (winces) No, no, lets not do that.
NW: (nods) Good. Now lets get started shall we?
MI: (eyeing me) Like I have a choice...
NW: What was that?
MI: (innocent blink) Nothing.
NW: (smirk) How about you tell everyone a little about yourself?
MI: Are we talking about the Mak that you created before I fucked Addie in the elevator or...
NW: Maikao!
MI: What?! It was a serious question! I sincerely want to know if you think the people should be aware of who I was before.
NW: (growl) Talk to them about who you were before you and Addie made love--
MI: (chuckle) Oh no, we fucked. You made us fuck. Admit it.
NW: I am two seconds off you having a tragic accident that leaves you a eunuch and Addison looking for another love.
MI: (snort) As if she could...
NW: Maikao...
MI: (sigh) Alright, alright (eye roll) I was what you love to refer to as a "man-whore." I enjoyed my fair share of the opposite sex and then one night this zaney, adorable little woman with her ass hanging halfway out of her gown because of an unfortunate incident that we still don't know the origin of, came along. (small smile) I was lost. I started to make a move on her then I realized I couldn't. Not because she kind of scared me--although she did--but because she wasn't like the others. She was my friend before I knew it. I loved her laugh and her smile and her intellect. She had a way about her that excited me and frightened me. I didn't have a goddamn clue what to do when she decided she wanted to start dating the man who's like a brother to me.
NW: Did you know you were in love then?
MI: (shakes head) I had no idea. I just understood that whenever I was near her, she made me feel...
NW: Right?
MI: Yes. (nod) And horny...really horny...
NW: My God man can you just keep the sexual details to yourself?
MI: It's your fault! You wrote me to bleed machismo. (brow waggle) Allow the people to enjoy it.
NW: What you bleed is assholery.
MI: (pout) That's not nice.
NW: Neither is what I'm going to do to you if you don't straighten up.
MI: (lip twitch) Why Nikki, are you flirting with me? Because it feels like you're flirting with me.
NW: Oh dear lord...
MI: I mean I'm flattered but my wife--the one you wrote who's constantly threatening my balls--may take issue with that.
NW: And this conversation is over...
MI: Wait! Let me tell them about the rabbit!
NW: (points to door) Get out Mak.
MI: But...but...
NW: I made you a fireman right?
MI: (nod) Correct.
NW: Do you know what my nickname is among my fellow authors?
MI: (brow raise)
NW: (whispers) The Pyro.
MI: (stands) And I'll just be saying good-bye now.
NW: Oh but Mak, I thought you had more to say?
MI: (heading for door) No, no, it's fine.
NW: You'll be back at some point right? (big grin) Or at least you'll send Eli?
MI: (snort) That asshole doesn't know how to entertain the way I do.
NW: (smirk) That's not the opinion Addison had at one point now was it?
MI: (frown) Low blow Nikki, low blow.
NW: (chuckle) Sorry, I couldn't help it.
MI: (shakes head) No. Too late. I'm gone. I'll speak to you again when you learn how to not damage my poor wounded heart. (mock sniff) I'm going home to my wife...for some therapy...and snuggling...and dirty stuff brought on by the snuggling...
NW: (still laughing as the door slams)

And there it is folks. Maikao "Mak" Iona. He along with the love of his life will be making their literary debut soon enough. There was naughty jokes and funny innuendos along with the threats of important bits and plenty of steamy scenes to keep you right on the edge of your seat and wanting more. If that glimpse of the funny Fireman wasn't enough for you, just stay tuned because despite what he says, he'll be back. And he's bringing a few friends with him...

Thursday, December 20, 2012

BTP SCAVENGER HUNT!!!










You've come so far and yet have more to go. Click on the BTP author's names to collect more riddle answers. Once you have all 11 answers collected email btpcontests@gmail.com. Three lucky winners will be chosen at random to receive a $10 BTP gift certificate. Contest closes at 12 am 12.22.12.

My riddle!
When I am filled,
I can point the way;
When I am empty,
Nothing moves me.
I have two skins,
One without and one within.
What am I?






Riddlers: 

Drea
   Janet 
   Gynger
   Raelynn

READY! SET! GO!